Summer Bummer

Ask Brando what the number one thing he'd like for me to shut up about this week and his answer will be "The weather."

Guys, I know it's getting warmer. It's time to head outside to play in the yard, ride with the top down, lay on the beach, pick flowers, yada yada yada. Ok, fine, I was a little fond of a few of the nice sunny days we've been having...

...but there will only be about four of them. There is no spring in Southern Alabama. There is only summer.

And summer is hot. I hate hot. I would one billion times rather be bundled up in a coat and scarf than walking barefoot on the beach. I would, y'all. I can't get out in the sun because without sunscreen, I will fry and even with sunscreen, at least once a year, I break out in an allergic reaction. To the sun, people. Plus, everyone is wearing less clothes. I love clothes! How is wearing less clothes a good thing? The only thing redeeming about summer for me is sandals. I like freedom for my feet.

To sum it up, I am anti-summer.

Yes. I said it.

So the only reason I'm smiling in this picture--which is the first time I put on shorts in 2012--is because I looked like a giant moron in the frowny face pictures.

Here's to the next 9 months of heatstroke,

T