That Orange Glow: A Sefl-Tanning Retrospective, Part 2

When we last left off, I whined about early self tanning lotion. This time, it's spray tan booths. Enjoy.

When it was time for my senior prom, I was too scared to go to these new things called spray tan booths. What if I spend $40 and I come out looking like an Oompa Loompa? Prom was too important to risk being an Oompa Loompa. Sad, because although I did still looked awesome at prom, being tan-less came at a price. I wasn't able to buy the prom dress I really wanted--a hot pink, one-shoulder dress with a train and a sheer netting back covered in crystals. Why? Because the sheer netting was, yes...tan. Too tan for Taylor.

I was a college graduate when I first stepped into a spray tan booth for my friend Amy's wedding. It. was. amazing. Total coverage. Minimal streaking. Instant glow. No yucky smell until hours later. But also kind of expensive, if you didn't want to buy 20 at once that all had to be used in one month. When I did buy a package because I was so hooked on them, I vowed to be forever tanned. That lasted exactly two tans, when the second one started flaking off almost immediately, probably because it was attaching itself to dead skin that was on its way off anyway. (Interestingly, the same thing happened when I vowed to go forever acrylic on my nails--I lost a nail almost immediately after my first fill in.)

First spray tan

There were huge positives to spray tan booths. It looked awesome. You know, like I had a tan. You have no idea how weird that first look was, seeing a tan Taylor in the mirror. You got total body coverage. No lines. No "I can't reach my back so I guess it will be pale" spots. No streaks. Hideously discolored feet and ankles if you forget to apply moisturizer beforehand, but no streaks. And it was so quick, too. If you could walk right in, it takes, like, five minutes. And it lasted. When you're pale, you're literally starting from scratch, and that tan would hang around for quite some time before I finally reverted back to translucent. And even though it eventually developed that DHA smell, I was at home, only offending my own nostrils. A shower in the morning and the smell was gone.

Beach spray tans

The cons for me were that you weren't supposed to go with any makeup or deodorant on, so that meant that special trips had to be made to get one--trips that involved running makeup-less with your hair slicked back from your face to Dothan in an old dress so you wouldn't ruin your clothes. And then there was that feeling when you get back in the drivers seat of your car, like everything--clothes, car seat, everything--was sticking to you. And then you had to go home, which was actually super nice of you, because, you know...you weren't wearing deodorant.

Wicked dahk spray tan

Pros:

Quick and efficient application

All over coverage

Way better application and coverage than at home

Long lasting

Low DHA smell until after development

Cons:

Expensive

Could be inconvenient to go get

Couldn't do anything afterwards except go home

Initial sticky feel

So what will Taylor do? Will she devote herself once again to spray tans? Or will she find some miracle self tanner? Or...will it be a full on Casper the Ghost summer?